Meet Wedology 101: First Things First of Greater Richmond

When Jenn and I first sat down to iron out the Wedology 101 details, plenty of vendor categories came to mind- music, rentals, flowers and so on and so forth. What’s great about working with Jenn though, is that we both agree that at the end of the Big Day, there is now a marriage, the most important thing of all.

Very quickly, we decided that Bob Ruthazer with First Things First of Greater Richmond, simply had to be a part of Wedology 101. Yes, it’s important to know how to survive planning your Big Day- but even more important are the skills for enjoying a lasting marriage.

Bob stopped by today, to give us a sneak peek into First Things First of Greater Richmond--

Why does First Things First of Greater Richmond stand out from the rest?

Before you tie the knot, Let us show you the ropes! First Things First is all about strengthening families for a better community and we believe that the most important way to do that is to help couples have strong, lasting marriages. Our dream is every child growing up in a home with a mother and father who love each other and love their children. I think that’s a dream that most couples have when they think about getting married—a relationship that will endure even as children transform the nature of that relationship. We believe that the best way to ensure those happily ever-afters is to help couples prepare for a life together through mentoring and counseling and to reinvigorate their relationships through a variety of great dates, seminars and getaways. Our proven marriage skills programs can be found at http://www.firstthingsrichmond.org/

What is one of your favorite “bridal moments” over the years?

Actually there have been many, but what comes to mind is a recent ceremony where almost two dozen couples renewed their vows. Some had been married just a few years, some had been married 40 years or more. The room was filled with much of the same joy and delight that I’ve seen at weddings. What was surprising was the number of couples who had experienced great challenges in their marriages, had overcome them, and are now living out the life that many envisioned on their wedding day

What is your biggest Wedding Day “Don’t”?

Don’t forget to stop, look around and inhale the moments that make the day so special but remember: a wedding is a day but marriages is forever. Brides and grooms invest so much in the planning and execution of the wedding and reception, and get so caught up in meeting and greeting that they sometimes forget that this is their moment. They have to look at videos and photos to see what happened. I’d suggest that they have their wedding planner make a point of pulling them out of a crowd, to get them quiet on the edge of the reception and just observe the people who are invested in their happiness. They should observe the setting—the tables, the flowers, the food—all of it. A minute focused on their friends and another on each other will help a couple embed indelible memories of their wedding day.

What are some of the biggest challenges facing brides today with their wedding plans?

The biggest challenge is balancing plans for the wedding day with plans for a lifetime. Since most of their lives will be spent after the wedding, we encourage couples to spend a few hours getting ready for after the honeymoon. For many years First Things First has been offering courses like It Takes Two: Keys to a Rewarding Relationship. We have also trained more than 100 mentor couples who volunteer to meet with engaged couples (and some that are thinking about getting engaged) to help them prepare for the transition from singleness to marriage. They utilize a very effective inventory called Prepare-Enrich. This inventory uses a series of questions to gather and compare data that reveals strengths and growth areas for each couple who sign up for the mentoring sessions. The mentors are seasoned married couples, not counselors, who share what they have learned in their marriages that will benefit newlyweds. Some of our volunteers work primarily with blended families and those who were previously married. Others work with those who are marrying for the first time. Mentors can be found in churches throughout the metropolitan area or can be located by contacting info@firstthingsrichmond.org.

What should a bride always have handy when planning her wedding?

She should have a calendar that not only includes all the important activities that lead up to the wedding, but also includes some planned dates with her husband during their first year of marriage. The bride and her fiancé should set dates three, six and nine months out to talk about what’s working and what isn’t and to draw up plans to keep the relationship fresh. Those dates will help ensure that the first anniversary celebration will be great. One of those post wedding dates should be a marriage seminar, like the Laugh Your Way to a Better Marriage event that will be here in Richmond August 20th and 21st. Getting together with other couples, learning more about the differences between men and women, laughing together—these activities will enliven a marriage and get couples talking about why they got married in the first place. And the planned dates provide a forum for addressing little problems before they become major ones.

If you had one piece of advice to share with our brides, what would it be?

Treat your wedding like the beginning it is, not as an ending. Save enough energy to really enjoy your honeymoon and come back refreshed so your first weeks of marriage are as delightful, vibrant and romantic as your wedding and honeymoon.

Remember you family will always be YOUR family… if there is a family challenge, have blood deal with blood… do not ask your fiancé to deal with YOUR family issues.

To learn more about First Things First, please visit their web site.

You can also meet Bob at Wedology 101 coming up in three short weeks on August 15 at Wyndham Virginia Crossings.

Cheers,
Meghan

Meghan Ely is one part of the Wedology 101 team, and owner of OFD Consulting, a niche Marketing/PR firm servicing the wedding industry and the Managing Director of the Richmond Bridal Association. She is a contributing writer with Virginia Bride magazine, and has been published in Premier Bride Richmond. She and Jennifer write a Wedology 101 column for the Richmond Times Dispatch's Celebration section. She loves late harvest sauvignon blancs, letterpress anything and cakes shaped like Death Stars.